1 00:00:06,528 --> 00:00:09,531 Madame Ghost Representative, we have a cabinet meeting 2 00:00:09,532 --> 00:00:11,053 with Samantha in the living room. 3 00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:13,622 Oh, right. Uh, thank you, Isaac. 4 00:00:13,709 --> 00:00:15,885 -[clears throat] -I mean, 5 00:00:15,972 --> 00:00:18,366 Mr. Vice Ghost Representative. 6 00:00:18,367 --> 00:00:20,758 -Mm-hmm. -Cabinet meeting? I didn't know the ghost rep 7 00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:22,022 actually did anything. 8 00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:24,372 That was true under Creepy Dirk, but 9 00:00:24,373 --> 00:00:26,373 under a Montero-Higgintoot administration, 10 00:00:26,374 --> 00:00:29,159 we will restore the position to its original intent, 11 00:00:29,333 --> 00:00:33,294 to pester and annoy Samantha with minor requests. 12 00:00:33,295 --> 00:00:34,990 Jay's been cooking a lot of pancakes recently. 13 00:00:34,991 --> 00:00:36,732 Could you ask Sam to tell Jay 14 00:00:36,733 --> 00:00:38,994 that I would like to smell something savory for breakfast? 15 00:00:38,995 --> 00:00:41,258 Trevor, it's on the agenda. 16 00:00:41,345 --> 00:00:44,914 But, uh, Flower, uh, we were gonna go on walk. 17 00:00:45,088 --> 00:00:47,351 Remember? I want to show you dead bee 18 00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:48,918 that die in funny position. 19 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:52,139 Look like it dancing disco. [grunts] 20 00:00:52,269 --> 00:00:56,534 [gasps] Oh, right. Shoot. I... Can we do it later? 21 00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,799 Yeah, okay. I mean, if it not get eaten 22 00:01:00,930 --> 00:01:05,065 or wind not blow it into unfunny position. 23 00:01:05,194 --> 00:01:09,373 Seems sort of risky to wait, but okay, yeah. 24 00:01:09,504 --> 00:01:11,941 Cool. See you later, Thor. 25 00:01:12,115 --> 00:01:13,899 Man, that can't feel good. 26 00:01:13,900 --> 00:01:15,857 -What you mean? -ALBERTA: Well, it just seems 27 00:01:15,858 --> 00:01:17,815 like now that Flower's big and important, 28 00:01:17,816 --> 00:01:19,557 she don't have time for you. 29 00:01:19,558 --> 00:01:21,471 -You're the Stedman to her Oprah. -ALBERTA: Oof. 30 00:01:21,472 --> 00:01:23,213 That's tough, but true, Trev. 31 00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:25,563 Who is this Stead Man? 32 00:01:25,564 --> 00:01:27,695 Well, Oprah's a very successful and powerful woman, 33 00:01:27,696 --> 00:01:30,176 and Stedman is her man who's just kind of there. 34 00:01:30,351 --> 00:01:32,657 But Thor First Gentleman. 35 00:01:32,831 --> 00:01:34,616 And we love that for you. 36 00:01:34,746 --> 00:01:37,488 Is important role in its own right. 37 00:01:37,619 --> 00:01:39,751 That's such a Stedman thing to say. 38 00:01:39,925 --> 00:01:41,362 [grunts] 39 00:01:41,449 --> 00:01:43,364 ? ? 40 00:01:46,410 --> 00:01:47,542 She's pulling up! 41 00:01:47,672 --> 00:01:49,065 Who's pulling up? 42 00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:51,067 Oh, you remember that woman Paula, 43 00:01:51,068 --> 00:01:52,459 the producer who shot an episode 44 00:01:52,460 --> 00:01:54,330 of the docuseries Dumb Deathshere? 45 00:01:54,375 --> 00:01:55,854 Oh, yeah, you played Flower, 46 00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:57,975 and Jay got shot in the ass with an arrow. 47 00:01:57,987 --> 00:02:00,294 [laughs] That was a fun afternoon. 48 00:02:00,295 --> 00:02:01,990 Well, she wants to scout Woodstone 49 00:02:01,991 --> 00:02:03,296 as a possible filming location 50 00:02:03,297 --> 00:02:05,125 for the upcoming season of... Pete? 51 00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:08,649 It's Getting Hot in Here: All Star Edition. 52 00:02:08,650 --> 00:02:13,307 -[laughs] -By Odin's loins, yeah! 53 00:02:13,437 --> 00:02:16,179 Okay, maybe curb your excitement a little, Thor. 54 00:02:16,180 --> 00:02:17,962 We don't want her thinking we got bad wiring. 55 00:02:17,963 --> 00:02:19,400 [door opens, closes] 56 00:02:19,401 --> 00:02:21,444 Yeah, I got to run. I just got to the location. 57 00:02:21,445 --> 00:02:24,405 It's still run-down, but yeah, hopefully cheap. 58 00:02:24,535 --> 00:02:27,582 -Sam, Jay, good to see you. -Hey, Paula. 59 00:02:27,669 --> 00:02:29,714 Great to see you. I love your purse. 60 00:02:29,845 --> 00:02:31,325 Ugh, yeah, it was a splurge. 61 00:02:31,326 --> 00:02:33,282 I have a bit of an online shopping problem. 62 00:02:33,283 --> 00:02:35,110 Every time I take an Ambien, I black out 63 00:02:35,111 --> 00:02:37,068 and see the damage on my doorstep the next day. 64 00:02:37,069 --> 00:02:38,119 I like this one. 65 00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:39,593 -She's a spitfire. -[phone ringing] 66 00:02:39,594 --> 00:02:41,857 Excuse me. What is it? 67 00:02:41,987 --> 00:02:43,772 Well, you tell Lacey Chabert 68 00:02:43,773 --> 00:02:46,556 that we think Mrs. Claus would wear that bathing suit, 69 00:02:46,557 --> 00:02:48,645 and if she doesn't come out of her trailer, 70 00:02:48,646 --> 00:02:51,301 Melissa Joan Hart is circling the parking lot. 71 00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:53,738 Sorry, I also produce holiday rom-coms. 72 00:02:53,869 --> 00:02:55,478 Oh, my God. I love those. 73 00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:58,265 -Yeah, you fit the demo. -Thank you. 74 00:02:58,395 --> 00:03:00,385 I don't know that that was a compliment. 75 00:03:00,386 --> 00:03:02,485 Did you by any chance produce Single and Ready to Kringle? 76 00:03:02,486 --> 00:03:05,315 By the skin of my teeth. That was a tough shoot. 77 00:03:05,402 --> 00:03:07,332 Our Rudolph got a little hoofsy on set. 78 00:03:07,404 --> 00:03:09,319 Mm. Can I take you to your room, Paula? 79 00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:10,450 Absolutely. 80 00:03:10,451 --> 00:03:11,756 [phone ringing] 81 00:03:11,843 --> 00:03:13,454 Hello? 82 00:03:13,455 --> 00:03:15,716 Because it's called Christmas in Cabo,Lacey, 83 00:03:15,717 --> 00:03:18,850 and Mario Lopez already agreed to wear a Speedo. 84 00:03:18,981 --> 00:03:20,983 Yeah, I want to see how this plays out. 85 00:03:20,984 --> 00:03:23,332 Sam, this is incredible. You should tell Paula 86 00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:25,334 about the holiday rom-com script you've been writing. 87 00:03:25,335 --> 00:03:28,120 Polar Opposites? Oh, I don't know. [chuckles] 88 00:03:28,121 --> 00:03:29,425 Yeah, Joan read it and loved it, 89 00:03:29,426 --> 00:03:31,536 and she was a professional screenwriter. 90 00:03:31,537 --> 00:03:34,213 I just don't know if it's ready. What if Paula doesn't like it? 91 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:37,042 Hey, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. 92 00:03:37,043 --> 00:03:38,739 I said that to Jerry once at a bar 93 00:03:38,740 --> 00:03:40,610 when he told me there was a girl he was into, 94 00:03:40,611 --> 00:03:41,916 and he didn't think he had a chance, and- 95 00:03:41,917 --> 00:03:43,484 Cheese and rice, that was Carol. 96 00:03:44,528 --> 00:03:46,530 HETTY: Flower, I've been thinking, 97 00:03:46,531 --> 00:03:48,662 with your recent election, it would be nice 98 00:03:48,663 --> 00:03:51,448 to honor the occasion with some sort of gathering. 99 00:03:51,535 --> 00:03:53,189 Mm. You mean like an orgy? 100 00:03:54,190 --> 00:03:57,192 Like that, in that there will be people there, 101 00:03:57,193 --> 00:04:00,282 but I was thinking more along the lines of an inaugural ball. 102 00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:02,633 Flower, this is a big deal, 103 00:04:02,634 --> 00:04:04,460 and it deserves to be acknowledged. 104 00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:06,691 I actually attended Nixon's inauguration. 105 00:04:06,768 --> 00:04:08,291 Well, a riot outside, 106 00:04:08,292 --> 00:04:09,944 which I thought was going to be funny 107 00:04:09,945 --> 00:04:12,055 because someone was like, "It's a riot," 108 00:04:12,077 --> 00:04:13,775 but it was an actual riot. 109 00:04:13,905 --> 00:04:15,864 Ladies. 110 00:04:15,865 --> 00:04:18,821 Oh, hey, Isaac. Hetty was just telling me about the clothed, 111 00:04:18,822 --> 00:04:22,087 nonsexual inaugural ball she wants to plan. 112 00:04:22,088 --> 00:04:24,263 Oh, that's a great idea, and I could make some remarks. 113 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,352 I could speak about the invention of democracy, 114 00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:29,138 from Athens to Higgintoot. [laughing] 115 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,358 And I shan't steal the spotlight. 116 00:04:31,445 --> 00:04:33,534 Three, three and a half hours tops. 117 00:04:34,665 --> 00:04:38,365 Isaac, that... [exhales] that sounds wonderful. 118 00:04:38,495 --> 00:04:41,716 Unfortunately, you're far too valuable to attend. 119 00:04:41,846 --> 00:04:44,588 -What do you mean? -You're the designated survivor. 120 00:04:44,719 --> 00:04:47,504 God forbid, something should happen at the ball- 121 00:04:47,505 --> 00:04:49,549 say, some sort of mass suck-off event- 122 00:04:49,550 --> 00:04:52,596 the remaining ghosts would require a leader. 123 00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:55,469 We simply cannot lose both Flower and you. 124 00:04:55,599 --> 00:04:57,819 So, instead of being a featured speaker, 125 00:04:57,993 --> 00:05:00,430 I'm just not there at all. 126 00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:02,432 Because of how important you are. 127 00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:04,826 Makes sense. 128 00:05:04,956 --> 00:05:08,612 Just an update... [sighs] disco bee blew away. 129 00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:11,267 -Oh. -What going on here? 130 00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:14,314 Well, I am planning a fabulous inaugural ball 131 00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:16,446 for our Madame Ghost Representative. 132 00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:18,970 I am not invited. Too important. 133 00:05:19,057 --> 00:05:21,930 Wait. This feel like something 134 00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:24,193 First Gentleman should be planning. 135 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:27,239 Oh, I didn't know you cared about this kind of stuff. 136 00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:30,591 [scoffs] Well, if it about Flower, then Thor care. 137 00:05:30,678 --> 00:05:33,681 It's just that, as the lady of the house, 138 00:05:33,811 --> 00:05:36,466 I do have extensive experience 139 00:05:36,553 --> 00:05:38,603 planning these sorts of upscale events. 140 00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:42,211 Well, maybe you two could plan it together? 141 00:05:42,212 --> 00:05:44,038 -Hetty, would that be okay? -Well, I... 142 00:05:44,039 --> 00:05:48,304 imagine it would be valuable to have his... 143 00:05:48,305 --> 00:05:50,218 -unique perspective. -THORFINN: Good. 144 00:05:50,219 --> 00:05:52,134 [laughs] We plan together then. 145 00:05:52,221 --> 00:05:54,354 And trust me, Thor know parties. 146 00:05:54,528 --> 00:05:57,705 Thor once throw Viking party where we slaughter caribou, 147 00:05:57,879 --> 00:05:59,139 drink still-warm blood, 148 00:05:59,228 --> 00:06:01,099 and then feasting on its innards. 149 00:06:01,230 --> 00:06:04,625 Well, no idea's a bad idea. 150 00:06:05,582 --> 00:06:08,237 So, Paula, will McNair and Jordana be back 151 00:06:08,238 --> 00:06:10,325 for It's Getting Hot in Here: All Stars? 152 00:06:10,326 --> 00:06:12,316 Jordana, yes. McNair, unfortunately, 153 00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:14,285 is going on next season of Sex House, 154 00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:16,026 which frankly, feels like no premise at all, 155 00:06:16,027 --> 00:06:17,681 but people love it. 156 00:06:17,812 --> 00:06:19,944 What has happened to my industry? 157 00:06:20,075 --> 00:06:21,642 Knock, knock. 158 00:06:21,643 --> 00:06:23,382 Just wanted to see how you were settling in. 159 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,733 Not true. Our girl's got an agenda. 160 00:06:25,907 --> 00:06:27,517 Everything's great. 161 00:06:27,518 --> 00:06:29,300 McNair's making the leap to Sex House. 162 00:06:29,301 --> 00:06:31,260 -Champa's gonna freak. -So, 163 00:06:31,261 --> 00:06:32,695 I know how you mentioned earlier 164 00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:34,916 that you produce holiday rom-coms... 165 00:06:34,917 --> 00:06:36,873 -You got this. -SAMANTHA: And I'm sure you hear this all the time, 166 00:06:36,874 --> 00:06:40,530 but I am actually a writer, and I have this script. 167 00:06:40,531 --> 00:06:42,705 -What's happening? -SAMANTHA: Is there any chance 168 00:06:42,706 --> 00:06:44,186 you might take a look? 169 00:06:44,187 --> 00:06:46,535 Well, I don't usually read unsolicited material. 170 00:06:46,536 --> 00:06:48,843 But for you, why not? 171 00:06:48,973 --> 00:06:51,236 Really? Thank you. Here you go. 172 00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:53,325 -No. -What? -Huh? 173 00:06:53,326 --> 00:06:55,152 You can't let her read that script, Sam. 174 00:06:55,153 --> 00:06:56,893 -I thought you said you liked it. -I was being nice. 175 00:06:56,894 --> 00:06:59,461 If this producer reads that script, you're done for. 176 00:06:59,462 --> 00:07:01,290 Hey, Paula, my mom's asking, 177 00:07:01,377 --> 00:07:04,859 "Will 'Brad the Assman' be on this season?" 178 00:07:04,860 --> 00:07:07,208 [chuckles] It wouldn't be All Starswithout him. 179 00:07:07,209 --> 00:07:08,689 She's gonna be so happy. 180 00:07:11,741 --> 00:07:15,956 You need to get that script back from her at all costs. 181 00:07:15,957 --> 00:07:17,653 SAMANTHA: You know, Paula, on second thought, 182 00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:19,307 maybe I could just do a quick typo pass. 183 00:07:19,308 --> 00:07:20,917 -Oh, I don't care about that. -JOAN: Ugh, I'm serious, Sam. 184 00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:22,919 You only get one chance at a first impression. 185 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,399 And now, I'm actually realizing, 186 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:25,748 that's not even my script. [chuckles] 187 00:07:25,749 --> 00:07:26,968 That's my will. 188 00:07:26,969 --> 00:07:28,534 Jay, you're in for some good stuff. 189 00:07:28,535 --> 00:07:29,317 Unless you're the one who did it. 190 00:07:29,318 --> 00:07:30,368 What is happening? 191 00:07:30,406 --> 00:07:31,966 Okay, this vamping right here, 192 00:07:31,967 --> 00:07:34,322 this is gold compared to most of her second act. 193 00:07:34,323 --> 00:07:36,847 Okay, if you want to do one last pass, fine. 194 00:07:36,848 --> 00:07:39,675 -I have an hour in the morning to read something. -Thank you. 195 00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:41,417 Now, if you'll excuse me, 196 00:07:41,418 --> 00:07:43,766 I have to go see if a spray-tan booth will fit in the pantry. 197 00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:45,681 They come out of those parkas looking pasty. 198 00:07:45,682 --> 00:07:47,815 Love the behind-the-scenes tidbits. 199 00:07:47,989 --> 00:07:50,600 Sam, what the hell's going on? 200 00:07:50,731 --> 00:07:51,993 Well, Joan lied to me. 201 00:07:51,994 --> 00:07:53,559 First, she told me she loved the script, 202 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:55,692 and now, she's saying it's a disaster. 203 00:07:55,866 --> 00:07:58,739 I didn't say disaster. It's just not read-ready. 204 00:07:58,740 --> 00:08:00,609 But we have the whole rest of the night, 205 00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:02,568 and I died on a little bit of amphetamines, 206 00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:04,221 so let's get out your Smith Corona 207 00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:05,789 and make this puppy sing. 208 00:08:05,790 --> 00:08:08,399 Are you gonna help me do a rewrite on Polar Opposites? 209 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:11,110 Yeah, it's already most of the way there, sweetheart. 210 00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:13,356 We just have to put our two heads together, 211 00:08:13,357 --> 00:08:16,451 like in my Siamese twins comedy, Seven Brides for Six Brothers. 212 00:08:16,452 --> 00:08:18,279 Oh, we actually watched that one together. 213 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:19,542 It does not hold up. 214 00:08:19,673 --> 00:08:21,723 Much like Cindy and Mindy's shared neck. 215 00:08:22,980 --> 00:08:25,853 So, I hear you two are planning Flower's inaugural ball. 216 00:08:26,027 --> 00:08:27,419 What are you thinking? 217 00:08:27,550 --> 00:08:30,074 Well, I am advocating that the evening commence 218 00:08:30,075 --> 00:08:31,379 with a series of dances. 219 00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:33,077 A waltz, a quadrille, 220 00:08:33,251 --> 00:08:35,384 a polka if we're feeling frisky. 221 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,604 Boring! [sighs] 222 00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:39,909 First Gentleman have better idea. 223 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,390 We have Sam and Jay capture Dane 224 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:45,172 and then watch as they throw frozen cabbages at head. 225 00:08:45,173 --> 00:08:46,916 -[laughs] -HETTY: And I just think 226 00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:49,807 perhaps Samantha may balk at kidnapping a Danish person. 227 00:08:49,808 --> 00:08:51,268 THORFINN: Doesn't have to be Dane. 228 00:08:51,269 --> 00:08:52,052 -[Hetty sighs] -Thor would settle for 229 00:08:52,053 --> 00:08:53,228 Finn or Swede. 230 00:08:53,358 --> 00:08:54,490 Dutchman in a pinch. 231 00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:56,405 I think these are all great ideas. 232 00:08:56,492 --> 00:08:59,277 As far as decorations are concerned, 233 00:08:59,408 --> 00:09:01,932 I was thinking lilies, perhaps some bunting. 234 00:09:01,933 --> 00:09:03,803 -Classic. -THORFINN: Thor think decorations 235 00:09:03,804 --> 00:09:05,240 should be more fish-based. 236 00:09:05,414 --> 00:09:06,720 Well, what a shocker. 237 00:09:06,721 --> 00:09:08,547 Oh, like, uh, like an "Under the Sea" theme? 238 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,462 No, more like fish out of the sea 239 00:09:10,593 --> 00:09:12,290 and being smoked from rafters. 240 00:09:12,421 --> 00:09:14,554 Will be most pungent. Perfect for party. 241 00:09:14,555 --> 00:09:15,989 HETTY: We will not be having 242 00:09:15,990 --> 00:09:18,209 rotten fish carcasses 243 00:09:18,296 --> 00:09:19,820 at Flower's inaugural ball. 244 00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:22,083 Not rotten. 245 00:09:22,213 --> 00:09:25,042 Cured by cold smoke. 246 00:09:25,129 --> 00:09:28,350 You see what Thor have to deal with here? 247 00:09:28,437 --> 00:09:30,178 [sighs] 248 00:09:30,308 --> 00:09:32,298 SAMANTHA: Okay, okay, but hear me out, 249 00:09:32,310 --> 00:09:33,485 what if we put the scene 250 00:09:33,486 --> 00:09:34,964 where Nathan and Jenny kiss here? 251 00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:38,012 [gasps] Before the mix-up at the peppermint factory? 252 00:09:38,099 --> 00:09:39,665 I don't like it, I love it. 253 00:09:39,796 --> 00:09:41,189 We are bippin' and boppin'. 254 00:09:41,276 --> 00:09:43,060 You really can move fast 255 00:09:43,061 --> 00:09:44,757 when you don't have to literally cut and paste the paper. 256 00:09:44,758 --> 00:09:46,236 SASAPPIS: Just to circle back, did you guys 257 00:09:46,237 --> 00:09:47,847 hear my pitch about the locomotive engineer 258 00:09:47,848 --> 00:09:49,239 -being a snowman? -JOAN: Yeah, 259 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:50,501 wouldn't the heat from the steam engine 260 00:09:50,502 --> 00:09:51,459 make him melt? 261 00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:53,244 Okay, the mayor is a polar bear, 262 00:09:53,245 --> 00:09:56,072 but sure, let's be rigorous about the laws of thermodynamics 263 00:09:56,073 --> 00:09:57,770 when it comes to snowmen driving trains. 264 00:09:57,771 --> 00:10:00,904 So, that just brings us to our ending. 265 00:10:01,035 --> 00:10:03,124 Which I think really works now. 266 00:10:03,125 --> 00:10:05,691 Y-You don't think it's a bummer they don't end up together? 267 00:10:05,692 --> 00:10:07,607 No, that's what makes it fresh. 268 00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:09,304 Jenny chooses herself. 269 00:10:09,391 --> 00:10:11,828 It's a rom-com. Don't reinvent the wheel. 270 00:10:11,915 --> 00:10:13,725 Just give the people what they want. 271 00:10:13,787 --> 00:10:16,077 Okay, I think I'm gonna stick with my ending, 272 00:10:16,078 --> 00:10:17,441 and if Paula doesn't like it, 273 00:10:17,442 --> 00:10:18,617 that is feedback that she can give me. 274 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,750 Sam, I mean it. 275 00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:22,970 A downer ending can ruin a whole read. 276 00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,580 Joan, I've made my decision. 277 00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:26,821 Thank you, but I'm gonna go print this out 278 00:10:26,930 --> 00:10:28,920 and give it to her in the morning to read. 279 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:30,499 [scoffs] 280 00:10:31,456 --> 00:10:33,197 This is not good, Sass. 281 00:10:33,198 --> 00:10:35,024 The ending is everything. Sam's gonna blow this. 282 00:10:35,025 --> 00:10:37,332 Maybe Paula will like it. 283 00:10:37,333 --> 00:10:38,941 You're saying Sam knows better than me? 284 00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:41,641 I'm saying she's alive and might have 285 00:10:41,642 --> 00:10:42,945 -her finger on the pulse... -[gasps] 286 00:10:42,946 --> 00:10:44,687 ...you know, 'cause she has one. 287 00:10:44,818 --> 00:10:48,517 Okay, what about this? We run a little test. 288 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,780 You go into Paula's dream and suss her out. 289 00:10:50,781 --> 00:10:53,347 See if she has any strong feelings on happy endings 290 00:10:53,348 --> 00:10:56,220 versus that nuanced mumbo jumbo Sam's been pitching. 291 00:10:56,351 --> 00:10:59,310 Interesting. And then we can present Sam with the evidence. 292 00:10:59,397 --> 00:11:02,226 -Okay. Yeah. It's a good idea. -Thank you. 293 00:11:02,227 --> 00:11:04,793 See how easy that is to say? That something's a good idea? 294 00:11:04,794 --> 00:11:07,841 We're not doing the snowman thing. 295 00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:10,104 Flower. 296 00:11:10,234 --> 00:11:12,284 The, uh... [chuckles] planning committee 297 00:11:12,323 --> 00:11:14,195 is at an impasse, so we need 298 00:11:14,325 --> 00:11:16,763 the Ghost Representative herself to weigh in. 299 00:11:16,764 --> 00:11:19,460 -Great, let's go find her. -[Thorfinn clears throat] 300 00:11:19,461 --> 00:11:20,592 Flower, that you. 301 00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:23,291 Right. Right. Oh, cool beans. 302 00:11:23,378 --> 00:11:25,423 So, as a neutral party, 303 00:11:25,554 --> 00:11:28,688 Peter will lay out our competing visions, anonymously, 304 00:11:28,775 --> 00:11:30,777 for you to make an unbiased opinion. 305 00:11:30,907 --> 00:11:32,604 -Sure. Works for me. -PETE: Okay. 306 00:11:32,605 --> 00:11:35,215 I will be presenting two very valid, viable options. 307 00:11:35,216 --> 00:11:36,738 You'll have no idea whose is whose. 308 00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:38,262 -[gasps] -PETE: Option A: 309 00:11:38,393 --> 00:11:40,917 we begin with dancing, then proceed to toasts, 310 00:11:41,004 --> 00:11:42,832 followed by the smelling of brandy. 311 00:11:43,006 --> 00:11:45,226 The room will be festooned with lilies 312 00:11:45,227 --> 00:11:46,792 and filled with classical music. 313 00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:48,664 Hmm, that sounds nice. 314 00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:51,885 Option B, again, completely anonymous: 315 00:11:52,015 --> 00:11:54,125 we will line the rafters with smoked fish. 316 00:11:54,126 --> 00:11:56,671 We will humiliate someone of Northern European descent, 317 00:11:56,672 --> 00:12:00,502 and we will smell copious amounts of rams' testicles. 318 00:12:00,589 --> 00:12:02,156 Hmm... 319 00:12:03,505 --> 00:12:06,682 Those both sound great. Um, let me think. 320 00:12:06,813 --> 00:12:10,077 Ooh, tough call. [laughs] I guess the first one, 321 00:12:10,207 --> 00:12:12,035 -if I have to pick. -Damn it, Pete! 322 00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:14,603 Why you not sell Option B good? 323 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,823 You totally leave out cod luge. 324 00:12:16,824 --> 00:12:19,172 I guess I wasn't clear on what that meant exactly. 325 00:12:19,173 --> 00:12:21,044 Like, is the luge shaped like a cod 326 00:12:21,175 --> 00:12:22,495 or do the cod slide down it? 327 00:12:22,524 --> 00:12:24,274 -Both, obviously! -HETTY: Thor! 328 00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:26,789 It does not matter who came up with what. 329 00:12:26,790 --> 00:12:28,790 Flower herself has given us a direction, 330 00:12:28,791 --> 00:12:30,880 and we need to honor her decision. 331 00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:33,230 No. Thor not want to plan party anymore, 332 00:12:33,361 --> 00:12:34,665 because apparently, 333 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:38,235 First Gentleman actually Worst Gentleman. 334 00:12:41,630 --> 00:12:44,894 Ugly moment but, I got to say, nice wordplay. [chuckles] 335 00:12:44,895 --> 00:12:47,069 SASAPPIS: So then, I went into Paula's dream 336 00:12:47,070 --> 00:12:49,600 to try to find out which type of ending she prefers. 337 00:12:49,681 --> 00:12:51,161 Well, what did she say? 338 00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:52,989 He got no answer. 339 00:12:52,990 --> 00:12:55,251 She started asking for context, and we got sidetracked. 340 00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:57,124 She had a lot of questions. 341 00:12:57,125 --> 00:12:59,125 Yeah, sure, it's hard to just judge an ending out of context. 342 00:12:59,126 --> 00:13:01,301 We just ended up getting into a lot more details 343 00:13:01,302 --> 00:13:03,085 that I hadn't planned on discussing, 344 00:13:03,086 --> 00:13:04,526 and then, Mario Lopez came in 345 00:13:04,609 --> 00:13:06,599 to see if she was ready for her massage, 346 00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:08,744 and then, Paula asked me to leave. 347 00:13:08,875 --> 00:13:10,354 Hey, guys. Today's the big day. 348 00:13:10,528 --> 00:13:13,662 Oh, Joan, thank you so much for all your help last night. 349 00:13:13,663 --> 00:13:15,794 I am so excited for Paula to read the script. 350 00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:18,493 -I hope she likes it. -I'm sure she will, kiddo. 351 00:13:18,494 --> 00:13:20,233 Yeah, and then we can all celebrate together 352 00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:22,061 -at the inaugural ball. -ISAAC: I won't be attending. 353 00:13:22,062 --> 00:13:24,934 I'll be sitting alone in the woods. Surviving. 354 00:13:25,108 --> 00:13:26,936 Designated surviving. 355 00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:29,460 I don't care if it's 5:00 a.m. in L.A. 356 00:13:29,547 --> 00:13:32,289 I have to tell you about this idea I came up with. 357 00:13:32,463 --> 00:13:33,900 I'm on with the coast. 358 00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:38,034 It's a holiday rom-com set at the North Pole, 359 00:13:38,035 --> 00:13:40,166 and get this, it's called Polar Opposites. 360 00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:43,083 It came to me in a dream, fully formed. 361 00:13:43,213 --> 00:13:46,608 Jenny Polar is in love with Nathan Opposites. 362 00:13:46,738 --> 00:13:47,788 [door closes] 363 00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:49,524 What did you do, Sass? 364 00:13:50,699 --> 00:13:52,048 It was Joan's idea. 365 00:13:55,030 --> 00:13:59,098 SAMANTHA: You went into Paula's dream and told her 366 00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:00,795 my movie idea? How could you guys do this? 367 00:14:00,796 --> 00:14:02,929 -I'm sorry, Sam. -No, it's my fault. 368 00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:05,279 I-I was so desperate to prove I was right. 369 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:07,323 It's been so long since I've been in the game. 370 00:14:07,324 --> 00:14:08,760 I got carried away. 371 00:14:08,761 --> 00:14:10,805 Samantha, there's a simple solution to this. 372 00:14:10,806 --> 00:14:12,546 Just show her your completed script. 373 00:14:12,547 --> 00:14:14,027 What would that prove? 374 00:14:14,157 --> 00:14:16,447 At best, she'll think that I had the same idea. 375 00:14:16,448 --> 00:14:18,160 In which case, why buy it from me? 376 00:14:18,161 --> 00:14:20,119 And at worst, she'll think I heard her on the phone 377 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,078 and had AI spit out a draft. 378 00:14:22,079 --> 00:14:24,384 A.I. Rosenberg? That guy's still knocking around? 379 00:14:24,385 --> 00:14:26,075 He was no spring chicken in my day. 380 00:14:26,169 --> 00:14:27,919 Okay, we can figure out a solution. 381 00:14:28,041 --> 00:14:30,739 There is no solution. She thinks she came up with it, 382 00:14:30,740 --> 00:14:32,522 and now, my movie's gonna be made, 383 00:14:32,523 --> 00:14:34,153 and I will get none of the credit. 384 00:14:34,221 --> 00:14:35,613 Not so fast. 385 00:14:35,787 --> 00:14:38,225 We had a term in my day, "gaslight," 386 00:14:38,226 --> 00:14:40,182 based on a 1940s film of the same name, 387 00:14:40,183 --> 00:14:42,316 in which a husband convinces his wife 388 00:14:42,446 --> 00:14:43,970 she's gone crazy. 389 00:14:43,971 --> 00:14:45,622 That's still very much a term today. 390 00:14:45,623 --> 00:14:48,060 So, here's what I'm thinking, we gaslight Paula 391 00:14:48,061 --> 00:14:50,149 into thinking she's read your script already. 392 00:14:50,150 --> 00:14:51,586 Okay, but how do we do that? 393 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:54,197 Oh, I know exactly how we do it. 394 00:14:54,198 --> 00:14:56,720 The seeds were planted in the very first moments 395 00:14:56,721 --> 00:14:58,810 she arrived here at Woodstone. 396 00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:00,900 You couldn't write it any better. 397 00:15:02,336 --> 00:15:04,033 Hey, Thor. 398 00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:05,992 Just wanted to check on you. 399 00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:08,690 You seemed pretty upset before. 400 00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:11,606 Thor not upset. Thor just confused. 401 00:15:11,693 --> 00:15:14,217 Not sure how anyone at party will have fun 402 00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:16,219 -without fish luge. -[chuckles] 403 00:15:16,220 --> 00:15:18,133 I guess I'm just a little surprised you care so much 404 00:15:18,134 --> 00:15:20,124 -about planning a party. -[chuckling] 405 00:15:20,136 --> 00:15:21,355 Why? 406 00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:22,834 Thor love party. 407 00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:25,228 Some of Thor's biggest heroes plan party. 408 00:15:25,359 --> 00:15:26,664 Sven the Reveler. 409 00:15:26,795 --> 00:15:28,057 And the Great Lisas- 410 00:15:28,188 --> 00:15:30,451 Rinna and Vanderpump. 411 00:15:30,625 --> 00:15:31,675 [sighs softly] 412 00:15:31,713 --> 00:15:33,497 Thor, what's this really about? 413 00:15:33,584 --> 00:15:34,846 [sighs] 414 00:15:34,977 --> 00:15:37,197 You Ghost Representative now, and... 415 00:15:37,284 --> 00:15:38,502 Thor very happy for you 416 00:15:38,676 --> 00:15:42,071 but just worried that new fancy Flower 417 00:15:42,245 --> 00:15:43,943 not need Thor anymore. 418 00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:45,857 What are you talking about? 419 00:15:45,988 --> 00:15:48,295 You need Thor spell it out? 420 00:15:48,382 --> 00:15:49,949 You Oprah, 421 00:15:50,079 --> 00:15:51,385 Thor Stedman. 422 00:15:51,386 --> 00:15:52,472 Who's Stedman? 423 00:15:52,473 --> 00:15:53,865 Exactly! 424 00:15:54,649 --> 00:15:56,477 -Oh. -Look, 425 00:15:56,607 --> 00:15:59,959 Thor just figure that if he plan party as First Gentleman 426 00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:01,482 that it make Thor useful. 427 00:16:01,612 --> 00:16:04,398 That he not get... 428 00:16:04,528 --> 00:16:05,660 left behind. 429 00:16:06,704 --> 00:16:08,402 Thor. [chuckles] 430 00:16:08,576 --> 00:16:11,622 Just because I'm a little busier and have some big title now 431 00:16:11,623 --> 00:16:13,972 doesn't mean you're going to get left behind. 432 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,409 No? 433 00:16:15,410 --> 00:16:18,193 If anything, having more on my plate makes me realize 434 00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:21,197 how precious the free time I do have is. 435 00:16:21,328 --> 00:16:24,940 And I love spending that free time with you. 436 00:16:25,071 --> 00:16:29,640 Thor love you more than Sven the Reveler loves reveling. 437 00:16:29,727 --> 00:16:32,034 Which was kind of his thing. 438 00:16:34,863 --> 00:16:36,433 -[sighs] -[chuckles softly] 439 00:16:37,909 --> 00:16:39,694 Okay, the computer's all set. 440 00:16:39,824 --> 00:16:41,087 Is Jay in position? 441 00:16:41,088 --> 00:16:42,652 [quietly]: Affirmative. He's ready to go. 442 00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:44,481 Let's gaslight this broad. 443 00:16:46,788 --> 00:16:48,137 [knocking] 444 00:16:48,268 --> 00:16:50,705 Hey, Paula. I have some fresh towels for you. 445 00:16:50,792 --> 00:16:52,098 PAULA: Come on in. 446 00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:53,322 [chuckles softly] 447 00:16:53,490 --> 00:16:55,840 So, how are you enjoying your stay? 448 00:16:55,971 --> 00:16:57,929 It's been very productive. 449 00:16:58,060 --> 00:17:00,149 That's great. [chuckles] 450 00:17:00,323 --> 00:17:03,022 Look, I, uh, got to ask, 451 00:17:03,109 --> 00:17:04,848 what did you think of the script? 452 00:17:04,980 --> 00:17:06,242 What script? 453 00:17:06,373 --> 00:17:07,461 Polar Opposites. 454 00:17:07,590 --> 00:17:08,983 What? 455 00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:10,637 What are you talking about? 456 00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:12,998 Did you hear me talking about that earlier? 457 00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:15,555 I'm confused. That's the script I gave you to read last night. 458 00:17:15,556 --> 00:17:17,165 [knocking] 459 00:17:17,339 --> 00:17:18,559 Hey, Paula. 460 00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:19,689 You got a delivery. 461 00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:20,821 I did? 462 00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:22,002 Now go, go. 463 00:17:22,003 --> 00:17:23,084 PAULA: I didn't order anything. 464 00:17:23,085 --> 00:17:24,304 And I don't know 465 00:17:24,305 --> 00:17:26,305 what you're talking about with a script. 466 00:17:26,306 --> 00:17:29,613 I had a dream about a movie, Polar Opposites. 467 00:17:29,744 --> 00:17:30,962 But it was my idea. 468 00:17:30,963 --> 00:17:31,919 SAMANTHA: Paula, I don't want to be rude, 469 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:34,053 but are you gaslighting me? 470 00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:35,619 What? No. 471 00:17:35,620 --> 00:17:36,793 JAY: I think I might know 472 00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:37,664 what happened here. 473 00:17:37,665 --> 00:17:39,449 Um, is it possible 474 00:17:39,450 --> 00:17:41,276 that you may have taken an Ambien last night? 475 00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:43,149 I don't remember taking an Ambien. 476 00:17:43,150 --> 00:17:45,019 [chuckles] You guys are monsters. 477 00:17:45,020 --> 00:17:46,587 -Well done. -SAMANTHA: Yeah. 478 00:17:46,588 --> 00:17:49,023 Didn't you say that sometimes when you take an Ambien 479 00:17:49,024 --> 00:17:50,938 you kind of black out and online shop? 480 00:17:50,939 --> 00:17:51,939 -[chuckles] -JAY: Mm. 481 00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:53,594 That would explain the delivery. 482 00:17:53,724 --> 00:17:56,423 Uh, I didn't order anything. 483 00:17:56,424 --> 00:17:58,163 Oh, but there's a bunch of purses for sale 484 00:17:58,164 --> 00:17:59,339 on your computer. 485 00:17:59,426 --> 00:18:00,514 Mm. 486 00:18:00,515 --> 00:18:01,557 Ugh. 487 00:18:01,558 --> 00:18:03,256 That's weird. 488 00:18:03,257 --> 00:18:05,735 I usually have much better taste when I black out. 489 00:18:05,736 --> 00:18:07,824 SASAPPIS: Jay got that for Sam for their last anniversary. 490 00:18:07,825 --> 00:18:10,350 Ooh. Swing and a miss. 491 00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:11,699 Oh, my God! 492 00:18:13,004 --> 00:18:15,964 "Polar Opposites.Screenplay by Samantha Arondekar. 493 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,184 A Samantha Arondekar joint"? 494 00:18:19,054 --> 00:18:22,101 -Maybe I should... refamiliarize myself. -Of course. 495 00:18:22,231 --> 00:18:23,580 Take your time. 496 00:18:23,581 --> 00:18:25,146 Uh, and just for what it's worth, 497 00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:26,540 I really like the purse. 498 00:18:26,541 --> 00:18:28,497 I think you can wear it for a fancy night out 499 00:18:28,498 --> 00:18:31,545 or, you know, even a casual trip to the grocery store. 500 00:18:31,546 --> 00:18:32,675 It's dog crap. 501 00:18:32,676 --> 00:18:33,726 Let her read. 502 00:18:35,636 --> 00:18:37,594 Well? What did you think? 503 00:18:37,681 --> 00:18:39,770 I'm completely sober and I still love it. 504 00:18:39,771 --> 00:18:41,902 -[gasps] -You are one hell of a writer, young lady. 505 00:18:41,903 --> 00:18:43,353 [chuckles] That's a relief. 506 00:18:43,383 --> 00:18:44,993 But I can't take all the credit. 507 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,560 -What do you mean? -I owe 508 00:18:46,561 --> 00:18:48,822 a debt to the trailblazing female screenwriters 509 00:18:48,823 --> 00:18:49,823 who came before me. 510 00:18:49,824 --> 00:18:50,874 Okay. 511 00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:52,131 It was all you, Sam. 512 00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:54,220 I just helped flesh it out a little. 513 00:18:54,221 --> 00:18:55,437 I do have one note though. 514 00:18:55,438 --> 00:18:56,488 The ending. 515 00:18:56,657 --> 00:18:57,919 It's a bit of a bummer. 516 00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:00,050 Really? I thought it might be, you know, 517 00:19:00,051 --> 00:19:01,321 -fresher if- -No, no, no. 518 00:19:01,322 --> 00:19:03,053 You want fresh, work at a farmers market. 519 00:19:03,054 --> 00:19:05,752 We want the girl to get the guy, the guy to get the girl, 520 00:19:05,753 --> 00:19:08,930 and Mario Lopez to show up at the midpoint in a Speedo. 521 00:19:08,931 --> 00:19:10,191 -[chuckles] -I'm not joking. 522 00:19:10,192 --> 00:19:11,497 He's got a two-picture deal. 523 00:19:11,498 --> 00:19:12,673 Make that happen. 524 00:19:12,674 --> 00:19:14,064 That's a good note, Paula. 525 00:19:14,065 --> 00:19:15,385 People love a happy ending. 526 00:19:15,386 --> 00:19:17,155 Mm. Remember? That's what I was saying. 527 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,896 SASAPPIS: So Mario Lopez 528 00:19:18,897 --> 00:19:20,462 in a Speedo at the North Pole in the middle of winter 529 00:19:20,463 --> 00:19:22,513 makes more sense than my snowman pitch? 530 00:19:22,596 --> 00:19:25,381 -Yes. -Yeah, I'm gonna watch the crap out of this movie. 531 00:19:25,468 --> 00:19:26,817 [chuckles] 532 00:19:29,032 --> 00:19:32,996 Thank you, guys, so much. I had a really groovy time 533 00:19:32,997 --> 00:19:34,434 at my inaugural ball. 534 00:19:34,435 --> 00:19:36,130 THORFINN: Got to hand it to you, Hetty. 535 00:19:36,131 --> 00:19:39,178 That was best non-orgy party Thor ever attend. 536 00:19:39,308 --> 00:19:40,440 HETTY: Aw. 537 00:19:40,570 --> 00:19:43,051 And I am personally glad we ended up going 538 00:19:43,138 --> 00:19:44,705 with your hanging cod idea. 539 00:19:44,835 --> 00:19:47,098 [chuckles] It was a pungent addition 540 00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:50,101 to an otherwise aromatically conventional affair. 541 00:19:50,276 --> 00:19:51,581 Hey! 542 00:19:51,582 --> 00:19:53,495 Hey, babe. I'm trying to make cod for dinner, 543 00:19:53,496 --> 00:19:54,844 -but there's none in the freezer. -Yeah, 544 00:19:54,845 --> 00:19:55,976 it's hanging from the rafters in the ballroom. 545 00:19:55,977 --> 00:19:57,935 -Okay. -Anyway, 546 00:19:58,066 --> 00:19:59,372 big news. Paula emailed 547 00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:01,417 and we are officially booked to host 548 00:20:01,591 --> 00:20:03,680 It's Getting Hot in Here: All Stars. 549 00:20:03,854 --> 00:20:05,073 -What?! -[gasping] 550 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,640 It getting hot in here? 551 00:20:06,770 --> 00:20:07,858 Yes. 552 00:20:07,989 --> 00:20:09,643 My mom is gonna freak out 553 00:20:09,773 --> 00:20:11,035 if I get to meet Skylar L. 554 00:20:11,122 --> 00:20:12,298 SAMANTHA: And, also, 555 00:20:12,299 --> 00:20:13,646 Paula confirmed that she submitted 556 00:20:13,647 --> 00:20:15,083 my screenplay to the studio. 557 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,504 And, apparently, they're "excited to read." 558 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,827 Yes! Oh, babe, I'm so proud of you. 559 00:20:19,914 --> 00:20:20,964 ALBERTA: Oof. 560 00:20:21,045 --> 00:20:22,482 Isaac's gonna be so jealous 561 00:20:22,483 --> 00:20:24,178 Polar Opposites might be made into a movie 562 00:20:24,179 --> 00:20:25,092 -before his vampire book. -[chuckles softly] 563 00:20:25,093 --> 00:20:26,312 I want to tell him. 564 00:20:26,442 --> 00:20:27,748 Hold on. Where is Isaac? 565 00:20:27,749 --> 00:20:29,749 Did anyone tell him that the ball is over? 566 00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:30,837 SAMANTHA: I mean, it ended 567 00:20:30,838 --> 00:20:31,969 three hours ago. 568 00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:33,884 I'm sure he figured it out by now. 569 00:20:34,015 --> 00:20:37,627 ? I'm a Yankee Doodle dandy? 570 00:20:37,758 --> 00:20:40,935 ? Yankee Doodle do or die.? [chuckles nervously] 571 00:20:41,022 --> 00:20:42,502 -[bird hoots] -[gasps] 572 00:20:47,289 --> 00:20:49,030 Captioning sponsored by CBS 573 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:50,988 and TOYOTA. 574 00:20:50,989 --> 00:20:53,301 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 575 00:20:53,302 --> 00:20:57,852 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0